Heartfelt Self-Compassion

Heartfelt Self-Compassion
In this month of the heart as we think of those we love it is important to include some special regard for ourselves too.

Our lives after all include plenty of difficult or painful times that challenge us. We are imperfect beings and make plenty of mistakes that we have to face as well. Life doesn’t always go the way we plan.

Having compassion for ourselves is a way we honor the reality of our very humanness and give ourselves permission to be the imperfect beings that we are.

Being imperfect comes rather easily, doesn’t it? But what about showing ourselves some compassion? That’s not as easy.  But, we can learn to be intentional with self-compassion.

Compassion means to “suffer with”.


When we have compassion for ourselves we are kind and gentle when we are suffering, feel inadequate or fail at something. We have understanding rather than judgment. We recognize that pain and inadequacy is part of what we all share as human beings. We are all vulnerable. We are not alone in that.

When we have self-compassion we openly acknowledge to ourselves our negative thoughts and painful emotions. We validate our experience. It’s difficult to ignore our pain and feel compassion for ourselves at the same time. We feel good about ourselves just for being human, not because we think we are better than others.

Practicing self-compassion is about comforting yourself like you would your best friend.

You sit alongside yourself and acknowledge the difficulty you are having with self-talk: “This is really difficult right now.” You befriend you and ask, —“How can I comfort and care for me right now?”  

Open your heart to comfort yourself in your moment of need.


Compassion for ourselves comes from our heart. It is heartfelt, too. It warms you up inside and out when you care for you. And interestingly, it allows you to reach towards others with more compassion as well!

What can you do to show yourself some heartfelt self-compassion?

Jude Back  
  • Jude Vereyken, LMSW, CAADC

    Jude Vereyken, LMSW, CAADC

    For 30 years, Jude has worked as an outpatient behavioral health clinician in the Holland community where she specializes in treating individuals (and family members) affected by substance use disorders; depression, anxiety and stress; grief/loss concerns; trauma histories; and adjustment and co-occurring disorders. Jude has a special interest in treating concerns that affect women’s lives. She lives in the Holland area with her husband and three very spoiled cats!

    All blogs by Jude Vereyken, LMSW, CAADC

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